Ladies: decent comebacks for stupid pickup lines

[xpanda]

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

​

 

[kingbill]

OK how bout this one
"Um I've totally seen you before, I just can't figure out where...School? Grocery Store? oh you know what it is...I'm reading a book on Angels and your picture is on the cover"

 

[xpanda]

Not hard to tell you're new to the singles scene.

:>Grin>

 

[kingbill]

Marriage slows the dating down a little, but now thats over. Really the biggest change I've noticed is the desperation that sinks in once a woman hits 28.

 

[xpanda]

Marriage slows the dating down a little, but now thats over. Really the biggest change I've noticed is the desperation that sinks in once a woman hits 28.

28?

I'm almost 37, and just started feeling a bit desperate last Tuesday. Might've been the teriyaki, tho.

Seriously do hope the dating scene works out okay for you. Been reading your contributions in the RR lately, and I'm a bit worried on your behalf.

:smoking:

 

[kingbill]

Obviously I didn't mean you...Remember you are the exception to the rule. Do you have a sister who is 10 years younger and has much lower standards?
:toast:

 

[xpanda]

I have a sister five years younger. She's already married with babies tho. Thank god ... took the heat off me.

(Try being a female who doesn't particularly want babies, and the oldest on BOTH sides of the family. Oh, yeah, no pressure. Got the heat off myself by bringing home a black guy - who was actually just a friend - when I was 34. They've not asked about babies since.)

 

[Rawpimple]

I have a sister five years younger. She's already married with babies tho. Thank god ... took the heat off me.

(Try being a female who doesn't particularly want babies, and the oldest on BOTH sides of the family. Oh, yeah, no pressure. Got the heat off myself by bringing home a black guy - who was actually just a friend - when I was 34. They've not asked about babies since.)

I know your current boyfriend/husband posts on here.


POOR GUY!!! After bringing home the "just a friend" black guy. Sorry for him. I guess he can post in the penis adequacy thread for support.

P.S. Now I expect a post saying "Oh my boyfriend/husbands penis is just fine"


this does not make sense but im gonna post it anyway because its sunday night, im drunk, and i have to go to work in the f'in AM and lose an hour sleep. :drink: :bunnies: :drink:

 

[kingbill]

I have a sister five years younger. She's already married with babies tho. Thank god ... took the heat off me.

(Try being a female who doesn't particularly want babies, and the oldest on BOTH sides of the family. Oh, yeah, no pressure. Got the heat off myself by bringing home a black guy - who was actually just a friend - when I was 34. They've not asked about babies since.)

That's HILARIOUS :lolBIG:

 

[Ironman_8]

That's HILARIOUS :lolBIG:

That is hilarious. I should put an add in the paper for that: Clean, educated black male to get parents off their back about having babies. Picture available on demand.

I'm sure there is a demand for that, right?

 

[kingbill]

That is hilarious. I should put an add in the paper for that: Clean, educated black male to get parents off their back about having babies. Picture available on demand.

I'm sure there is a demand for that, right?

You might have to thug out to make it work

 

[Ironman_8]

You might have to thug out to make it work

Yeah youre right, I'm more Wayne Brady than 50 cent.

 

[kingbill]

<div align=center><a href="http://videovat.com/videos/969/chappelle-brady.aspx"><h1></h1></a><center><a href="http://videovat.com/videos/969/chappelle-brady.aspx"><img src="http://www.videovat.com/images/060115-chappelle-brady-video-1.jpg" border="1" alt="060115-chappelle-brady"></a></center></div><br/><div align=center><a href="http://videovat.com/"> </div><br/>

 

[xpanda]

I know your current boyfriend/husband posts on here.

POOR GUY!!! After bringing home the "just a friend" black guy. Sorry for him. I guess he can post in the penis adequacy thread for support.

P.S. Now I expect a post saying "Oh my boyfriend/husbands penis is just fine"

He doesn't post on here. Thinks we're all fruits for doing so, actually. Not sure if he knows too much about my past, but I don't think he'd care much. This guy REDEFINES laid back.

And his penis isn't 'just fine'. It's bloody brilliant. :>Grin>

 

[xpanda]

Yeah youre right, I'm more Wayne Brady than 50 cent.

Wouldn't much matter to my parents. My mother claims she's not racist, but ... 'think of the children' she says.

The woman has no idea how easy she is to manipulate.

 

[AFLGuru]

I have a sister five years younger. She's already married with babies tho. Thank god ... took the heat off me.

(Try being a female who doesn't particularly want babies, and the oldest on BOTH sides of the family. Oh, yeah, no pressure. Got the heat off myself by bringing home a black guy - who was actually just a friend - when I was 34. They've not asked about babies since.)

You know, my girlfriend and I both feel the same way. We're both the oldest on both sides of our families. My GF has a lot of options around her to have kids, but I only have my 19 year old sister, who has some sort of woman problem that prevents her from having children. (I don't get into all these woman problems and really don't care either) My girlfriend and I have been dating 6.5 years (we're practically married, I guess) and have decided that we have no desire for children either. My grandparents just wanted to live to see one great grandchild, but unless it's an oops, it doesn't seem like it's coming from any of their 6 grandchildren any time soon. My parents will never be grandparents in all likelihood (at least not biological grandparents... my sister has vowed to adopt one day). Also worse than that... I'm the only MALE with my father's last name left, meaning my family name dies at me if I don't have kids. Ah!!!

 

[billhill999]

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Maybe. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

 

[royboy_3831]

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Maybe. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "So, you wanna hook up or what?"

 

[billhill999]

George: Can I get your number?
Erin Brockovich: My number? Which one do you want?
George: How many numbers you got?
Erin Brockovich: Oh, I got numbers comin' outta my ears. For instance: ten.
George: Ten?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. That's how many months old my baby girl is.
George: You got a little girl?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How 'bout this for a number? Six. That's how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I've been married - and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That's my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I'm guessing zero is the number of times you're gonna call it!

 

[GameBreaker]

xpanda needs to spend more time down here, I like her style.

Either that or maybe she makes passive, laid back single guys like me feel better about myself.